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A Perfect God

Never let ’em see you when you’re breaking
Never let ’em see you when you fall
That’s how we live and that’s how we try
Tell the world you’ve got it all together
Never let them see what’s underneath
Cover it up with a crooked smile
But it only lasts for a little while

There’s no such thing as perfect people
There’s no such thing as a perfect life
So come as you are, broken and scarred
Lift up your heart and be amazed
And be changed by a perfect God

Suddenly it’s like a weight is lifted
When you hear the words that you are loved
He knows where you are and where you’ve been
And you never have to go there again

There’s no such thing as perfect people
There’s no such thing as a perfect life
So come as you are, broken and scarred
Lift up your heart and be amazed
And be changed by a perfect God

Who lived and died to give new life, to heal our imperfections
So look up and see love and let grace be enough.

-Natalie Grant

*************

I started this post February 15 of this year. It never got published because I was tired of being sad and depressed, and I wanted to hide it and just start to pretend that I was finally okay. Rather than sob and mope around, I stopped writing, and I shoved my feelings aside. I stopped dealing with life.

Tonight, however, life shoved back and God brought me to my knees. Literally.

I had those same feelings today, the sudden and strong desire to just run, to try and get away from my problems. I felt hopeless and dead inside. I felt ashamed of my past, disappointed in my now, and 110% apprehensive of my future. I was positive that somewhere I had crossed into No Man’s Land, where God couldn’t even make things right. Totally damaged and beyond repair. Unlovable. Undesirable. And completely useless.

Not even worth salvaging.

I reluctantly went to Monday Night Prayer, ready to just go through the motions. I went because if I had stayed home I didn’t want anyone to ask me why I hadn’t shown up. I went because I really didn’t have anything better to do. But God wasn’t going to let me be stagnant any longer. He used MNP to remind me that there is a purpose for my life and that there’s a reason why I’m here in Lubbock. He used it to remind me that I don’t need to keep beating myself up about mistakes and poor decisions I’ve made. He used it to remind me that He is merciful and awesome in power and can soften a hardened heart.

And even though God was making Himself real and tangible to me throughout the night, I didn’t stand to be prayed for because I was embarrassed and my pride wasn’t willing to budge. Which is why I’m writing now.

I need prayer.

I want people to know that even though I’m broken and scarred, that we have a God who saves and loves and is fully and completely able to heal our hurting hearts and lives. And not only is He able to do that, He WANTS to do just that. He wants us to find complete satisfaction in who He is! And we have to see that even when the world seems bleak and hope appears to be lost and gone, that God truly loves us and gave us the most perfect, precious gift: Himself!

So, that’s it. I’m beaten and tired. I’m overwhelmed by life. But even in this sadness and depression, my heart cries out in awe of the God who is greater than all of my problems combined. I cry out to be changed and renewed and to be made right with Him, because when I’m not, my world falls apart.


So come as you are, broken and scarred
Lift up your heart and be amazed
And be changed by a perfect God!

Wanted: Inspiration

…Wishing, hoping and praying I’ll find it soon.

Until then, I won’t be posting here on Little Bit of Amazing….

Take care, friends.

Front Porch Guest

Meet our new little friend:

Last week I noticed that this little bird has taken up residence in the corner eave of the porch. He arrives in the evening around 7 and is gone by 8 the next morning. I wish I could make a little nest for him because it breaks my heart that he’s alone. Especially in this cold weather.

I know it’s weird, but I feel a connection with this little guy… God has used this friend to remind me to not be anxious about my future, whatever is in store for me.

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’  For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

-Matthew 6:25-34

Weary

Five years on Monday and seven years on Thursday.

That’s how long it’s been since I lost my daddy and Papaw. And even with those years passed, I still struggle and fight with my emotions. So, on this day dedicated to love I can’t help but feel alone, saddened, and in pain. Dealing with loss has never been easy, but I’m really having a difficult time this year.

Please keep me in your prayers. I need every bit of help I can get right now.

Dear refuge of my weary soul,
On Thee, when sorrows rise
On Thee, when waves of trouble roll,
My fainting hope relies
To Thee I tell each rising grief,
For Thou alone canst heal
Thy Word can bring a sweet relief,
For every pain I feel

But oh! When gloomy doubts prevail,
I fear to call Thee mine
The springs of comfort seem to fail,
And all my hopes decline
Yet gracious God, where shall I flee?
Thou art my only trust
And still my soul would cleave to Thee
Though prostrate in the dust

Hast Thou not bid me seek Thy face,
And shall I seek in vain?
And can the ear of sovereign grace,
Be deaf when I complain?
No still the ear of sovereign grace,
Attends the mourner’s prayer
Oh may I ever find access,
To breathe my sorrows there

Thy mercy seat is open still,
Here let my soul retreat
With humble hope attend Thy will,
And wait beneath Thy feet,
Thy mercy seat is open still,
Here let my soul retreat
With humble hope attend Thy will,
And wait beneath Thy feet.

Anne Steele