Skip to content

A Perfect God

August 24, 2010

Never let ’em see you when you’re breaking
Never let ’em see you when you fall
That’s how we live and that’s how we try
Tell the world you’ve got it all together
Never let them see what’s underneath
Cover it up with a crooked smile
But it only lasts for a little while

There’s no such thing as perfect people
There’s no such thing as a perfect life
So come as you are, broken and scarred
Lift up your heart and be amazed
And be changed by a perfect God

Suddenly it’s like a weight is lifted
When you hear the words that you are loved
He knows where you are and where you’ve been
And you never have to go there again

There’s no such thing as perfect people
There’s no such thing as a perfect life
So come as you are, broken and scarred
Lift up your heart and be amazed
And be changed by a perfect God

Who lived and died to give new life, to heal our imperfections
So look up and see love and let grace be enough.

-Natalie Grant

*************

I started this post February 15 of this year. It never got published because I was tired of being sad and depressed, and I wanted to hide it and just start to pretend that I was finally okay. Rather than sob and mope around, I stopped writing, and I shoved my feelings aside. I stopped dealing with life.

Tonight, however, life shoved back and God brought me to my knees. Literally.

I had those same feelings today, the sudden and strong desire to just run, to try and get away from my problems. I felt hopeless and dead inside. I felt ashamed of my past, disappointed in my now, and 110% apprehensive of my future. I was positive that somewhere I had crossed into No Man’s Land, where God couldn’t even make things right. Totally damaged and beyond repair. Unlovable. Undesirable. And completely useless.

Not even worth salvaging.

I reluctantly went to Monday Night Prayer, ready to just go through the motions. I went because if I had stayed home I didn’t want anyone to ask me why I hadn’t shown up. I went because I really didn’t have anything better to do. But God wasn’t going to let me be stagnant any longer. He used MNP to remind me that there is a purpose for my life and that there’s a reason why I’m here in Lubbock. He used it to remind me that I don’t need to keep beating myself up about mistakes and poor decisions I’ve made. He used it to remind me that He is merciful and awesome in power and can soften a hardened heart.

And even though God was making Himself real and tangible to me throughout the night, I didn’t stand to be prayed for because I was embarrassed and my pride wasn’t willing to budge. Which is why I’m writing now.

I need prayer.

I want people to know that even though I’m broken and scarred, that we have a God who saves and loves and is fully and completely able to heal our hurting hearts and lives. And not only is He able to do that, He WANTS to do just that. He wants us to find complete satisfaction in who He is! And we have to see that even when the world seems bleak and hope appears to be lost and gone, that God truly loves us and gave us the most perfect, precious gift: Himself!

So, that’s it. I’m beaten and tired. I’m overwhelmed by life. But even in this sadness and depression, my heart cries out in awe of the God who is greater than all of my problems combined. I cry out to be changed and renewed and to be made right with Him, because when I’m not, my world falls apart.


So come as you are, broken and scarred
Lift up your heart and be amazed
And be changed by a perfect God!

Advertisements
One Comment
  1. I will gladly and joyfully pray for you as I know you are a gifted, precious woman who God seeks to bring up from this pit. My prayers are for just that, and that in the process, not only are you refined but that the pain is tolerable and that you quickly come out of the storm!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: